The Monstrous Traveler December 2016
Horrible Holidays and Terrible Greetings to all of you. I’ve taken a little break to try and get back my evil streak. I’ve traveled to Tasmania, that land of an animal called the Tasmanian Devil. It’s notorious for having a bad temper when disturbed. I thought I would try and pay a visit to its homeland and try to find one so they can teach me how to be mischievous and evil again. I got a little sidetracked on the way and ended up in Borneo! Man, that place is a little crazy too! And hot! Both places are islands south of the equator, and Tasmania is even south of Australia! Unfortunately, I decided to go there at the end of the summer and into the fall. While it may be getting colder here in Michigan, it’s getting warmer in the Southern Hemisphere.
Anyway, I finally got to Tasmania but I couldn’t find a Tasmanian Devil anywhere! Turns out they are very mysterious and hard to find! I can tell you, just having to trek through the island forests in the hot, humid, bug-filled air made me upset enough to get my ears in a twist. I didn’t find one of the illusive animals, but I certainly got my evil streak back! Now I just need to find my way back to the OUB office and make some mayhem! Mwahahaha!
A word from your Braille Monster! June 2016
It has come to my attention that I have lost a little of my notorious mean streak. Instead of ranting about taking over the world, I have become more interested in what our campers are doing! What’s happening to me?! Maybe, I just like kids more than I thought. Or maybe they’ve done something to me! Ahhhhh! You’ve turned me into a nice guy!
Wait! I can still fix this! I just need to think of something mischievous and evil to do. But what??!! I could steal all the firewood, or cause a tent to collapse, or make the pots and pans fall out of the cupboard. But that’s way too much work! Maybe I’ll just steal some clothes from a camper and hide them. They’ll think they lost them or misplaced them, but really it’s me, the Braille Monster! Mwahaha! I’m making a come-back!
Hello you wonderful human beings! April 2016
Summer will begin soon, and I can’t wait! I’ve waited all winter long to get back to warmth, spend time outside, take long walks in the woods, and of course chow down on my favorite snack, megabytes, while relaxing in the sun. I’ve heard all this talk from the staff about planting the OUB garden again this year. It sounds like soooo much fun, and I remember how good all those veggies tasted last year. I may start my own little garden somewhere all for me! Wouldn’t that be a treat!
I also heard something about a canoe trip. Whaaaat?! Is that really the Adventure Trip this year? I must remember to tag along on that one! It sounds like a blast: nothing to do except paddle down the river, camp in tents, cook food over a campfire, and do all sorts of crazy stuff in nature! You campers get all the fun. If I’m going to tag along, remember to leave a little food at the bottom of all the pots for me, I’ll be famished the whole time from all the fun.
Now, back to business, it’s been a while since I last infiltrated the OUB Facebook page. They’ve had it easy without me sneaking around. Of course I’ve been off on my own adventure with some friends, so I haven’t been around to get into the computer. We took a trip to Lake Michigan for the sand and the huge dunes! We had a great time splashing in the waves (even though they were freezing cold!), building sand castles, digging sand holes, and sleeping under the stars. It was a little chilly, but as long as you bring a thick banket, it’s fine. You should try it someday! Well, I’ll say goodbye for now, but watch the Facebook page for updates from the OUB staff and my own monster self!
My dear friends, and families, and of course campers! Feb. 2016
Are you looking for some fun! ‘Cause I’ve found it, right here in the office of OUB. Did you know that they own so many noise makers? Really, they’re just instruments, but if they’re all played together! What a cacophony! So far I have discovered several guitars, a couple mandolins, a lap harp, some rain sticks, and a weird thing that you can play with your thumbs! I can’t wait for all the kids to play them this summer.
Speaking of summer, ARE YOU READY? PARENTS, have you signed up your kid for camp? CAMPERS, have you bugged your parents about coming to OUB Camps? If not, you’d better get cracking, ’cause time’s a-wasting! I hear the staff have all sorts of awesome stuff planned for this year. Unfortunately, I’ve been unable to hack their computer in order to get all the information about these wonderful things, but I hear them talking about it! Anyway, I gotta run and get something to eat. Maybe something healthy today, like Braille paper. I’ve been pigging out on megabytes recently! I’ll get back to you later, and remember to like the OUB Facebook page or I’ll be forced to take action!
Hello all you good people! The Braille Monster is back! Jan. 2016
Well, a year has come and gone and I had a very exciting 21st year. I spent my birthday at camp making tents fall down! They all thought it was the rain, but they would be WRONG! It was ME, the MONSTER OF ALL MONSTERS, the infamous, notorious, and most thoroughly AWFUL MONSTER on the planet – the BLIND PLANET, that is! I even got to go to Chicago this year, where I almost made some staff members miss the train, and caused more tents to collapse, and all sorts of other disasters. The campers had to learn to do SO MUCH LAUNDRY! And it was all because of ME! It was my finest work yet! (I still don’t quite understand why they seem to LIKE having disasters to overcome, that is SO WEIRD! BUT THEN, you see, I got lost in the Camp Garden at Camp Optimist, and, even though I ate all the Braille Labels in there, and I jumped as high as I could, I just could not get over the garden fence. I did discover that lettuce and zucchini and green beans are a lot more tasty than I first thought, but really, I prefer Braille or electronic gizmos. I did try to eat a camper’s phone that he wasn’t supposed to have – it almost worked! Anyway, someone finally came to mow the grass in that nasty old garden, and I FINALLY slipped out. I hitched a ride on some guy’s truck, and from there found the GREEN VAN parked in the parking lot! What luck! I also managed to find a bucket of something truly awful and spilled it all over the back of the van! It stunk for weeks!!! Silly people – they blamed it on the staff, but it was really ME, The Braille Monster! The most nefarious, infamous and fascinating MONSTER on the planet!
Unfortunately, though, I made a little mistake. Just as the last staff person was about to leave, I couldn’t get into the van – it was locked, so I had to hang onto the back windshield wiper all the way from camp to the OUB office in Ionia. By the way, I have hung onto so many rear windshield wipers that I think I am probably responsible for making 90% of all the windshield wipers on vans and SUVs in America fail to work right. HA HA! I am the infamous, notorious Braille Monster! BRUHAHA!
Well, I got back to Gwen’s house, and yep, I found a nice black dog there willing to let me hide in his thick fur coat, so I STILL have escaped detection! WHAHAHA! So I am once again roaming free looking for a way to infiltrate the OUB Computer or get onto their Facebook page – or something!!! Being locked up with a only a bunch of vegetables for companions for so long has made me VERY HUNGRY! I have also decided that I really don’t like those plastic-y Braille labels anymore – yuck! I prefer nice clean megabytes. I just need to find a way to get into the Camp Director’s computer – aha! Eureka! I have found it! But I will not tell you how I am going to get in there! I am just glad I am not still stuck in the Camp Garden anymore! WHAHAHA!!! Wait until you see what nefarious things I do next!
Hello to all of you, Jan. 2015
My name is Theodous Drosophilus Mysterious, but I am better known as the most infamous, notorious and fascinating monster on the planet: the Braille Monster! Happy new year to all of you! It’s the New Year, so guess what???? You guess it right! It’s my birthday!!!! Guess how old am I???? You are right again!!!! Oh, yes, in this great year, I turned 21.
Okay, I need your help! So, my friends and I are going to be spending all summer celebrating my 21st birthday. We will be cooking, creating 3-D art, going to the baseball game, going to watch movies, and spending lot of time in the Windy City (yep, Chicago!) and much, much more. To learn more about my birthday party go to www.oubmichigan.org/camps-and-events-schedule
So, can you all please help me get tents so they may spend the night? It’s just $300 for tent. To help with tent for my 21st birthday party please go to www.oubmichigan.org/donation
Thank you all for your help. It’s going to be a great party. I’ll be posting pictures and videos.
Hello to all of my Family, Friends, and most of all, CAMPERS! Sept. 2013
My name is Theodous Drosophilus Mysterious, but I am better known as the most infamous, notorious and fascinating monster on the planet: the Braille Monster! I was born in the year 1994, in the city of all cities, in the state of Michigan. Now, some of you must be asking, “ who is the Braille Monster?” Well, ask my fellow campers at OUB CAMPS and they will tell you all about the Braille Monster!
The other day, one of the staff, I think his name is Ozzie. Anyway, he left his dog food by his bed and when he left, I ate it all.
That same night, when all the campers and staff went to bed, I ate all the Braille paper in the office. They are still looking for it, lol. Crazy blind people. They think they left the Braille paper at Gwen’s house but they don’t know that my stomach is full!
I’ll be back! Keep your eyes open for the Braille Monster!
And just in case you think that OUB can shake me off by moving to a new camp, NO, they are VERY mistaken!!! You see, I can READ this newsletter with my screen reader – ha ha ha on them! So I KNOW where you will all be next summer – and I even know where you will be in JANUARY! YOU CANNOT ESCAPE ME! I AM THE BRAILLE MONSTER!!! HA HA HA HA HA HO HO HO HO (oops, I morphed into SANTA? Yikes! This cannot be….what will happen next????)
Some of you know the Braille Monster very well – or at least you know stories about him (or is the Braille Monster a SHE???) If you would like to share any stories of the Braille Monster, please send it to firstname.lastname@example.org